2005-09-16 - 11:43 a.m.
5 DAYS OF STEAK 
Day 5
So last night, after an hour of driving up and down a
road for far too long passing what would have to be
the most obvious and incredibly large neon sign with
the name of the restaurant I was looking for shouting
at every car that goes by KENS STEAKHOUSE, I saw it.
I am convinced that unconsious wheels in my brain did
not recognise the words KENS STEAKHOUSE due to the
hue of the neon. Pink you see. Now Im not a
homophobe, not by a long shot, and I fully realise
that the innards of a perfect steak (thats medium rare
in my book) is also pink, but to me, a Steakhouse
needs a masculine,
we-have-just-come-in-from-hunting-and-gathering-and-want-to-devour-our-prey-lie-neanderthals
type of color. Blues and reds, primary colors people,
not pink.
I met two friends who live the exact same distance
from this restaurant in a different direction. We
converged, I met them in the Piano bar (ooooooh) yes,
this place was swanky. It has a long history, started
off in the depression era as a crappy 80 seat diner
surround by destitution and poverty. NOW, largely due
to the restaurants success, it is at the heart of what
is called a "golden mile" some termed coined, probably
by a real estate agent, to envelope an area of
immense economic growth. It is also about 50 times
bigger than it was. AND KENS is like totally famous for a bunch of Salad dressings, you'll know it when you see it
In the piano bar was an unnasuming middle aged lady
behind a piano and some other equipment. I could
easily tell you virtually all of the equipment she
used but suffice it to say she was well equipped.
Musically. Well, she was a huge woman so the "well
equipped" tag would fly in most descriptions of her.
Whilst ordering my beer and waiting for my companions,
I was at a complete loss as to how brilliant she was.
She played covers, most of the time to either midi
files of the songs or Karaoke dvds she had hidden ( I
notice these things) (yes I know... sad) I think the
key was that her vocal level was BANG ON. if you
werent looking at her you would swear it was the
radio. And here is the thing, in a short period of
time she did (and I know these are a tad cheesy in
places) Joni Mitchell, Aretha Franklin, the Eagles?
Foreigner?????? she was all over the place, well,
mostly in the 80's but genre wise, it was like a
rollercoaster.
But again, Im straying. STEAK.
We were seated professionally and offered drinks and
wine lists and specials and the like, very good
service. Such a relief. I went for New England Clam
Chowder as an appetizer and...... LAMB as my entree
(main course) I only clarify that in
parenthasesesesese due to the fact that in the rest of the known world "entree" really means Appetizer.
Lamb. (insert Bahhhhhhhhhh)
I have never really wondered why the sheep is one of
the only creatures we devour as babies, cute little poodle like animals jumping up and down in flowery fields, till they get horribly slaughtered and cut up into delicious cuts of meat, discarding its fluff and organs and brain and skeleton like an old and raggedy jacket. Perhaps it
stems back to some pagan sacrificial ritual or
something but my goodness. Clearly the tender and soft
flesh is heightened by youth. Moo hoo ha ha ha ha ha
haaaaaa.
Let me tell you, NEVER had I had a lamb chop that
exceeded .6875 of an inch - that is 11/16s. I HATE
knowing that. Well this one was easily 1.7969 inches - that is 1 and 51/64s. And BY GOLLY BY JINGO! (thats aussie talk for "Woah") it was delicious.
Can I even try to tell you of the ever so distinct flavor of burnt lamb fat? on every cut there is usually a soft and jelly like fat substance, essentially its a few layers of the underside of the skin, still grabbing on to its associated muscle, missed by expert butchers and sometimes left their deliberately to protect the delicate flesh from the flames. Anyway, this fat usually gets burnt by the naked flame of the grill and chars itself black. Yet, despite the tart and harsh charcoal finish, an unmistakable lamb flavor still resides in there. Coupled with a slight hint of mint sauce - or these days, the disgusting and cheap and meaningless fill in for mint sauce, mint jelly. Eew. it presents the Lamb eater with a veritable explosion of flavor.
Yes, it was good.
p
The tally so far?
Steak
Ribs
Steak
Ribs
Lamb
tonight?
THE CHOP HOUSE.
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