2004-07-14 - 6:51 a.m.
Let me try for a moment to cast your minds away from the trivial writtings of a curious soul to an adaptation of an event that uccured last night that I am yet to fully get over.
Upon finishing work, I dashed my little calves up to 45st (from Varick - a fair distance by any means, especially when it was via 14th and 5th) in order to catch the JFK airport bus to pick up R and A from Sydney.
I purchased my 23 dollar (thats important to the story) ticket and went out front to find my bus. 8pm. (R&A aiirve at 9.30) 2 busses sit dilegnlty waiting work. Two neat and tidy, organised looking bus drivers "Your bus isnt here yet". "Thanks".
The third bus arrives and a man not too dissimilar to a cross between the hunchback of Notre Damme and Redd Foxx gets out. Tooth missing, crazy eye, shirt untucked. DISHEVELLED. Anyway, aesthetics aside the man was curtious and friendly - to me. A limo driver, who had cunningly squeezed in behind his bus as he was trying to reverse got no such curtiousness. Buss driver proceeded to get out and have many heated exchanges with unsuspecting yet clearly muddled limo driver. The upshot being my driver was now disgruntled. If you can call "Ill rip of your arm off and mail it to you" disgruntled. I think that almost classifies as livid. Nothing like putting your driver in a good mood for the journey ahead.
So I get on the bus, now 10 minutes late and, as the lone passenger, get to have a chat. I had hoped to maybe calm things down and get his mind off the limo driver that by now would be in several pieces had a little thing like KEEPING A JOB not got in the way. We chat about many things including his real job of lighting tech for a nightclub (cool huh?!) We arrive at our last pick up before the 1 hour journey to JFK and all seems well.
NOT. The agent at Central Station, as we pulled up, was on a cell phone as he was waving us to park, screaming most of the obscenities I think I know (which is a few) through his cell phone ricochetting off all and sundry standing about, in awe. 4 people get on the bus and sit silently. Then a large black woman gets on with 5 kids, 7yrs and down. She, lets call her Rosa, asks the driver for a ticket... "Maam, you have to get your ticket from the machine, and you better hurry, we got to leave!" She proceeds to get assistance from the agent, lets just call him Russell. Russell helps Rosa buy a ticket and hands it to her, she gets on.
Russell gets on and asks for tickets. We all, in our own special New York way, show him our tickets and give him the receipt section. Except Rosa. Rosa can't find her ticket, her kids cant find her ticket, Russell, already fuming with some issue that was unresovable by shouting through a cell phone, starts to LOSE THE FUCKING PLOT. "Maam, if you don't have your ticket, you have to get OFF THE BUS" This goes on for 15 minutes. (aside: I SAW HIM GIVE THE TICKET TO HER! - He even acknowledged that fact!) Apparently, without that receipt, it comes out of his paycheck. (Everyone on the bus now knows this for future reference)
After now around 20 minutes of a stale mate between little angry Russell and Large even angrier Rosa and 5 kids, Russell gets off the bus to summon police, just in time for Rosa and bus driver to commence similar exchanges of curses, blasphemy and general unhappiness. All the while the other passengers are blissfully ignorent to the whole elaborate play.
Policeman gets on bus, Rosa explains in her colorful and heated way that "HE BOUGHT THE TICKET FOR ME" etc etc and more stale mate scenarios ensue. I get off the bus with police officer to fix and becalm all having seen no option other than to make sure Russell gets his wages, the pratt. I give Russell 13 dollars for his WAGES and all is ressolved. Or so I would have you belive. As I return to the bus I walk to Rosa who is still explaining, as if there is a hot poker slowly being inserted into her nether regions, to the bus driver - who has a similar torture seemingly being applied, that she has a ticket and she is not mad at him etc etc. I walk up, starting to get a little anxious (it's now almost 9.30) and I tell Rosa to "get to the back of the bus and be quiet" I had of course paid for her to do so so I didnt feel too bad about that. I then turned to enraged bus driver and plead with him to LET IT GO!!!!!!! At what point in life do you just let it go I wonder, I know my limitations but clearly New Yoricans have a far greater tolerence for extreme stress and anguish.
Delicious pointed out to me last night that I might be the first white man ever to get away with telling a black woman to get to the back of the bus.
So we are on our merry way and I am drawing to the terminal. the last one, conveniently - every other passenger, including Rosa, who didnt really even thank me are off. Bus driver looks at me, mid turn, and says, "did you pay for her ticket?"
"Yes" I replied sheepishly. He slams on the brakes and starts a tirade of "You know she has the ticket and will use it when she gets back" etc. I am now the bad guy! (one innocent pasenger thanked me for my chivalry)
Once more I plead with him "Sir, I mean no disrespect but I am almost an hour late for my connection and I paid because Russell had not the gaul or business accumen to know when to let things go for the greater good of his career, the company's good will, and the remaining paying customers. Please, please please, drive me to the terminal so I can end this" (23 dollars for a return trip I didnt use and 13 for Rosa's)
As I finally alighted the bus he said, "well, if you do visit me at my nightclub," (a conversation that, although interesting in its own right, not worth elaborating on) "I hope you won't be as rude"
I let it go.
p
I got R&A, and we got a cab back. Never ever ever take anyone or anything anywhere near the NY AIRPORT SERVICE bus from the Port Authority.
you have been warned.
*
*
