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2004-07-07 - 9:08 a.m.

I think the fact that the lead singer of Public Domain openly pronounced me to be drunk TO the public domain during their show last night still has me irked somewhat. And I don't think Ive been irked before. Twas in reference to my flailing limbs, as I hoisted my -never used before yet universaly known ROCK OUT sign- as a clear indication that I enjoyed their new song. Perhaps I got it wrong, some digit in the wrong place might look like a Vulcan curse or something. I probably should have just nodded intellectually. Something that to me is just as difficult. Now it has me in one of those irritating quandries that alcoholics probably find themselves in all the time.

Do I get drunk? Am I a drunkard? I drink a fucking lot, no doubt, the combination of English Heratige and Australian upbringing has me as close to being pure alcohol as you can get. I know I get tipsy, I was last night. Hell, 5 tequilas and 4 beers will do that to the best of us having foregone dinner. I think I bought them all drinks too?

I still managed to get home without vomiting blood or getting cited for lewd behaviour. I even stopped in Washington Square park and lost it at the crap mixing ability of whoever the hell it was behind the 48 channel Allen and Heath desk that was being used to mix the small orchestral recital. The man clearly was devoid of the phrase "STEREO SPREAD" and RECORDING LEVELS. I could go on about the lack of Cello and the really low levels being pumped into the dat but I won't. And here I am at work (Im trying too hard to justify my drinking to me aren't I, here I go again)

Still, whatever way I look at it, Public humiliation always freaks me out. even if it was in front of 6 people. I did like the track and I guess my blissful glassy eyes and stupid smile are a dead give away for someone that knows nothing and is just blatantly being blaz� about anything asked them. woops.

If only my creative musical intellect and knowledge would ooze out of me in the same cool way that it oozes out of Prince or someone. Like that DJ $mall �hange, smoothness personified.

But I am clearly thinking too much about all that crap which is why I was worrying about the alcoholic thing in the first place. A cataclism of self doubt and sorry ass SHITE that perpetually loops around my head. Which I am glad about really, a true alcoholic most probably wouldnt even have these thoughts. maybe?.

Best I have a drink and swallow my tongue.

too late.

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Wane - Wax

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